If you can't trust a fellow BB to "do the right thing", then how can we expect our nation's leader to follow any such code of honor?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
It's bad enough that all we have to show for the last eight years of misery under the dicktatorial (spelled correctly) Rove regime (who are we kidding?!) is an economic meltdown, housing market implosion, two wars (only now, as Bush limps out of office, does he concede that maybe, just maybe, he didn't have a good intelligence report about the WMD in Iraq), but I can't even trust one of the BitchyBloggirls to wait until Christmas to open her gifts.
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IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT THE BOX WAS NOT MARKED "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL CHRISTMAS"!! Especially since, you senile old coot, you GAVE me my Xmas gifts in August! So this box comes and, I swear to God, my immediate response was "OH NO! BB sent me A's (out of control teenage daughter) head!"
ReplyDeleteWas there any reason to believe that there were Xmas presents in said unmarked box? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Are there a MULTITUDE of reasons to believe that the daughter who is making your life a living Hell On Earth has been put out of your misery and in an effort to avoid detection, her body parts are being sent to unsuspecting relatives across the country? YEEESSSSSSSSSS
I shudder to think what Mom will do when she receives her part of the teen.
So, considering the box WAS NOT MARKED and there was EVERY REASON to believe the box might be a tad ripe and stinky by Xmas, OF COURSE I opened it!! Yeesh.
Seriously, do you think I would ship parts of my kin to other kin? But, now that I think about it, I did try to ship the whole kin, recently. She arrived back home, with "return to sender" stamped on her forehead.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I thought you'd resorted to parting her out! It'd be harder to return her if the reciepients didn't really know who had what part!!
ReplyDeleteStrange, but true, holiday facts
ReplyDeleteElves, normally very mellow creatures, are a bit frazzled this time of year. Did you know that the tradition of giving coal & sticks in stockings of bad boys and girls originated because an elf was in hyper-ass covering mode? Twue. Like I said, at this time of the year, elves are pretty stressed. One elf (whose name has been lost to posterity or purposely kept hidden, you decide) who was unusually stressed out due to an influx of requests for toy trains when HE had geared up his department for toy trucks, decided that as a means to keep inventory from running out, he would arbitrarily declared any boys "bad" who asked for trains instead of trucks and would deliver coal and sticks instead. Now if the boys were asking for trucks, then they were "good" and got not one, but usually two or more trucks so that "the big guy" wouldn't catch on that he had overdid it on the trucks and not anticipated "trains". The elf in charge of dolls was coerced into going along with this scheme (something to do with pictures of him and the reindeer, but that's another story), but since he had plenty of dolls in stock, only half-heartedly delivered some coal and sticks to a few girls (mostly ones caught playing with trucks or asking for trains). This, by the way, was the beginning of the fairy tale that girls are nicer than boys.
At some point in time, I think you should invite me to share this blog rather than just be a "follower". Or is keeping me a "follower" really your secret, fiendish plan? (Along the line of "Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas! Have a body part! Ho Ho Ho")
ReplyDeleteYou were given the "secret handshake." What more do you want, a bailout from Congress?
ReplyDelete